Vegas is on Sale, And Not Just the Crappy Parts
Cosmo, MGM, STRAT, and even Downtown are throwing out deals. Here’s what’s worth booking, and what to ignore like a $25 table minimum.
Welcome to Vegas Summer: Where the Pavement Melts, the Margaritas Water Down, and the Deals Get Desperate
Ahhh, summer in Vegas, that magical time of year when the heat climbs so high that pilots second-guess landing at McCarran, lest their tires fuse to the runway like a tourist to a $14 daiquiri. We’re talking "surface of the sun" temps here, 120°F if the weatherman’s feeling generous, 130°F if Satan’s running a promotion. "But it’s a dry heat!" they say, as if that excuses the fact that your shoes are literally melting into the sidewalk.
The crowds? Half-naked, fully sunburnt, and operating on a dangerous cocktail of electrolyte imbalance and Cirque du Soleil-induced delirium. The pool parties? A lawless wasteland of influencer vanity, overpriced bottle service, and at least one guy who definitely didn’t RSVP. And the casinos? Suddenly acting real friendly, throwing around resort credits like confetti at a desperate bachelorette party.
Because here’s the dirty little secret: Vegas is hurting this summer. The whales are hibernating, the conventions are ghosting, and the Strip’s usual "screw you, pay me" attitude has softened into a whispered "please, just come back."
And when Vegas gets desperate? That’s when you strike.
I’ve combed through the fine print (so you don’t have to) to find the rare deals that aren’t a total scam, because yes, even in a fire sale, this town will still try to nickel-and-dime you with resort fees disguised as "tax recovery charges." From Cosmo’s shocking fall from grace to the STRAT’s "we swear it’s not that sketchy" discounts, here’s what’s actually worth booking… and what to avoid like a slot machine that hasn’t paid out since 2019.
Let’s ride. 🎲
🌆 MGM’s “Oh Shit, Summer is Dead” Fire Sale
It’s no secret I’m a bit partial to MGM. To be completely honest, it’s the easiest place for you to gain status and build credits so that Vegas can be just a bit more affordable. I’ve had one problem with them over the years, and they were quick to resolve things. Sure, I could go crazy about the hack or the few times computers were reportedly down, but that’s a daily occurrence for Caesars, so... No, I do not receive any compensation from them (pro tip, if you ask someone, they have to tell you, try doing that to some influencers on Insta). If you give good service, just like bad, I’m going to tell you about it. Here’s their Summer perks.
🤑 $150 Credit (Bellagio/Aria/Cosmo): For people who need to flex on Instagram but can’t afford Wynn. JK They’re pretty nice
😐 $100 Credit (Vdara/MGM Grand/Mandalay Bay/ The W): The “we have Aria at home” special. MGM is renovating rooms, and you might see me at VDARA.
🤔 $75 Credit (Park MGM/NoMad/New York New York): Smoke free or fake city. Nomad is underrated, and Park MGM is the best mid-resort on the strip.
🤡 $50 Credit (Luxor/Excalibur): (for when you miss your ex’s air mattress) If you need a bed and are up to date on your tetanus shot, hey, why not?
Code: TFBPSD = ”This F’n Bullshit Probably Still Decent” book by 7/31 Stay through 9/4
Resorts World: The PR Spin Cycle Special
Oh look, Resorts World discovered Canva. Big font, small substance. Pass, but if you find yourself at Tacos El Gordo across the street, step in and walk around. It’s a pretty pig!
They’re marketing “NO RESORT FEES!” like it’s 2006.
But the fine print? She’s brutal:
Ends Sept. 11 (how patriotic of them)
Only applies to some bookings
$50 “resort credit” you’ll struggle to use unless you’re buying lip balm and ceviche at the same time
Also: the parking’s free now. (until 9/11) Probably because no one’s showing up.
Let’s not forget RW’s still cleaning up after a $10.5 million money laundering scandal, and half their restaurants still act like you’re eating at The French Laundry with none of the service or seasoning.
Big font, small substance.
(read my RESORTS WORLD’S $10.5M CRIME SPREE AND THE $25K/HAND SMOOTHIE SNUB post)
Circa’s “All-In” Summer Package: The Only Vegas Deal That Doesn’t Screw You
Circa is to Downtown what The Strat tried to do to the North Strip. It’s amazing, and it's owned by someone who truly wants to stay true to Vegas. If you’re staying downtown. Stay at Circa, it’s just that simple.
The Deal:
$400 / 2 nights in Circa’s actually-cool rooms (no "run-down luxury" here)
Full access to Stadium Swim’s 6-story pool coliseum (normally $50/day)
$50 resort credit (real money, no casino play required)
All taxes & resort fees INCLUDED (yes, you read that right - no hidden "destination charges" or other Strip nonsense)
The Fine Print That’s Actually Fair:
✔ Valid Sun-Thurs (weekends available at higher rates)
✔ Book by Sept 4 for stays through Labor Day
✔ No surprises - the price you see is what you pay
Pro Moves:
Use your $50 credit at Legacy Club, with Rooftop views and swanky drinks.
Hit the 100X odds craps tables after dark
Laugh at Strip tourists paying $400/night before fees
Bottom Line:
This is how Vegas deals should work - one honest price, no bullshit. The only thing hotter than this offer is the pavement outside. Book it before downtown catches on.
"All-in" means ALL IN - no resort fee ambushes, no credit card surprises at checkout. Refreshing, right? 🎲 (Check out my 💋 Vegas Isn’t Dead (But Her Ass Was in Storage post for more on why the owner is a Legend)
STRAT: Where Hope Goes to Die
In the heart of Naked City is the Strat, a place that opened with high hopes, featuring roller coasters on the roof and a promise to reinvent the North end of the Strip. Yeah, that never happened. The shops resemble a closed flea market, but the carpets are new. It’s still fun to go to the top and have a drink, and if your spouse is afraid of heights (like mine), lean against the angled glass 100+ stories up for fun!
$49 rooms come with:
A view of the methadone clinic and the Strip!
$25 dining credit (book a reservation at Top Of The World)
The haunting echo of a slots addict yelling “BUT I WAS DUE!”
Why It’s Worth It: Because Circus Circus exists, and you’re better than that.
🍻 Plaza Downtown: The “We’re Trying Okay?” Downtown’s Reckless Summer Bargain
Plaza is an oldie that has recently invested a lot of time and money to help match Circa’s downtown energy. With free fireworks Friday during the summer, carousel bar, and Oscars patio, it’s certainly worth a look if you want that older downtown experience. This isn’t a horrible deal at all.
$125/person gets you:
✔ Early Check in, and if that wasn’t enough, you also get…
✔ Breakfast & dinner Enjoy mouthwatering bites from Hash House a Go Go, Fresh Mexican Grill, Pop Up Pizza, and Coffee Bar.
✔ Bottomless booze at casino bars (well drinks only - this ain’t the Wynn)
✔ ZERO resort fees (take that, Strip thieves)
✔ Rooftop pool + fireworks every Friday (your Instagram will thank you)
✔ Oscar’s Steakhouse happy hour deals (because you’ll need meat after all that drinking)
Why This Beats Strip “Deals”:
While Resorts World charges $50 just to breathe their air, Plaza’s out here offering:
Actual unlimited drinks (not that “three cocktail voucher” nonsense)
A pool that doesn’t require taking out a second mortgage
Fireworks that aren’t just your bank account exploding
The Catch (Because It’s Still Vegas):
Well drinks only (this isn’t craft cocktail territory)
Gratuity not included (tip your bartender or face downtown karma)
Must book by Aug 30 for June-Aug stays
Pro Tip:
Hit Oscar’s happy hour (5-7pm) for steakhouse appetizers at peasant prices. Then stumble to the rooftop just in time for fireworks - the perfect backdrop for your terrible life choices. Don’t get that $16 salad, though it’s a rip-off.
Verdict:
For the price of one Bellagio breakfast, you get a full Vegas crash course - hangover included. Downtown just schooled the Strip.
"All-inclusive" actually means ALL IN - no resort fee ambushes, no surprise $18 smoothie charges. Refreshing, right?
The Verdict: Vegas Summer’s Real Winners (And Desperate Losers)
There you have it, the actual deals worth your sweat-stained gambling budget this summer. Sure, you’ll stumble upon some "look over here!" distractions, Caesars slinging some 40% added, 40% off deal. A $700 Fontainebleau room with a $50 coupon, while they quietly double the parking fees. But those aren’t worth your time (or this newsletter’s dignity).
Speaking of Caesars… The only thing sadder than their crumbling Forum Shops is watching them trot out yet another celebrity chef to distract from their peeling wallpaper. Congrats, Gordon Ramsay Burger #4! Maybe this one will finally make their blackjack dealers stop sighing when you tip in coupons.
The Real Move? Hit Circa for poolside glory, Plaza for drunk fireworks, or any of the MGM properties if you must do the Strip. The rest? Let ‘em sweat. Vegas always bleeds money in August, wait long enough, and even Wynn might start comping well drinks.
🎲 Ready to book? Do it NOW, or just wait for the even more desperate September fire sales. Your liver, your call.
Final Warning: These deals expire faster than a Vegas marriage. Just like the casinos, I’m counting on you having poor impulse control.
P.S. Found a "deal" that smells fishier than a Flamingo blackjack pit? Comment below. I live for this nonsense.
-Jason